MEMOIRS OF IMH (Institute of Mental Hospital)

Record I

A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm…that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."

Record II

A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. She got curious and went to take a peek. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.
Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"
Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself..."
Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)
So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"
Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter, how would I know??"

Record III

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.

One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened.The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.
The patient laughed at him and said "can't even fix such a simple problem...no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."

Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that".

The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"
Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"