September 13, 2009

Reward Or Bribe

Do you monetary reward your kids or bribe them? What is reward and what is bribe? Where should we draw the line?

Had a neighbor who pay her kids to finish up their dinner. Most kids are picky when it comes to food but pay them to eat? I overheard her telling her eight years old son that if he would take another spoonful of his dinner, she will pay him 50 cents. I wonder what else she paid him to do?

Another neighbor pay her daughter to do some spring cleaning around the house before the new year.So this is a bribe or a reward? I also have a friend who pay her daughter to prepare breakfast for the rest of the family on school days because she is always in a hurry to go to work. Is this another so call reward?

Don't we all learn about teamwork and family values in school? So it means that only schools are doing their part to teach children about the importance of family but parents themselves not really encouraging it?

To me, my family members are my team mate. We all belong to the same team but each have a different role to play. Everyone must play their part. Each of us are responsible for the well being of all its members. We should encourage our kids to help out around the house and not pay them to do so. If not they will end up like one of my friend.

This friend of mine was a divorcee with 2 kids and her mum stayed with her to take care of her kids for her while she works in the office. Whenever her mum ask her to help around the house, she says that anything that does not involve money, she won't do. Instead of being grateful, she thinks that since she is paying her mum to take care of the family, it should be entirely her responsibility. She forgot that person is her mum, her family member. I can imagine how hurt the mum must be.

No offense, but to those who pay their kids to help around the house, what type of signal are you sending? Are you trying to tell your kids, hey, look you are just someone around this house, I got a job for you, pay well, can you do it? If not I could pay your sister or brother to do it.

Aren't we family. Aren't family suppose to stick together? Just for your reading pleasure. Thank you.


"BUTTERY"fly said...

I don't bribe my kids too...
I don't even say *please* too much, but I reward them with praises.
Esp. when it has something to do with their own folding their own clothes.
What we want to instill is a sense of responsibility and I'm afraid for those people you have mentioned.

Nice topic
I love your blog.

Klambat said...

Yes we are becoming too materialistic these days and worst we are passing it down to our children. They will only help when they get paid. Which is ridiculous.

szlogolept said...

It is not a good practice for in my view it degrades familial relationship. What happens if a kid starts negotiating the price or declines to do the job. Your observations are thought provoking.

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