Sign Of Aging

Age is creeping up without me realizing. Sitting too long causes back ache. Looking at the p.c or t.v too long (which is not too long to me) eyes need a rest. That's why I hardly go to the cinemas now-a-days. The big screen that changes too fast and those extreme sound effects sometime makes me uncomfortable and a bit dizzy. Not too mention rides at theme parks. So movies are always at home now.

Most afternoon after lunch I need a short nap cause I would be extremely drowsy that hour. Can't have marathon shopping like those days as I get tired faster than before. Hmm my body ain't as young as I thought it was. When did that happen?

I need to exercise everyday now, be it stretching exercise or some light weight lifting or yoga, if not, body aches and gets tire faster. Guess those aches are actually my body alarm clock reminding me to exercise. Kinda glad that I am not on a nine to five job now or I would be forcing myself to have my eyes open after lunch and the whole day in front of the p.c with loads of meetings to attend and juniors to teach.

As my body start changing and watching my children all grown up and taller than me, I realize I am on the next phase in life. A new chapter. Makes me feel a bit like those single days, as I don't really have to attend to my teenage sons so much. Most of the time they would hang out with friends. So I pay more attention on my pet rabbit and dog.

My facebook and camera used to be filled with my sons photos and stuffs about them. Now mostly about my pets. Like my mum always said, go through life gracefully embracing every phase in life. Hope by the time both sons start working and hubby retired, I and hubby could take up some volunteer work somewhere. Something that I always wanted to do but lack time and sometime transport to do it. Hopefully I get to fulfill this part of my dream before I become a grandma and have to take care of grandchildren and be stuck at home again.

Life is really like a box of chocolate, never really know what to expect until the time comes and things happen. We can plan how we are going to live but sometime it is beyond our expectation. What ever will be will be. I am grateful that my annual health check still shows I am in good health despite the back ache and all.

Thanks for reading and hope life treads you good. Take care of your health and embrace life every moment.

No One Intent To Replace You

I once read from some where that says, most dads thinks that there will never be a man who can pampered his daughter like he does and most moms thinks that her son will never get a wife who can take care of him as good as her. Well guess this is how the war between most mother-in-law with their daughter-in-law and father-in-law with their son-in-law started.The jealousy and fear that we as parents will be replace by our children's spouse. When children decided to get marry we should be happy that our children had learn to love another and is loved by one more person beside you, as parents. They got married not because they found someone to replace you as parents.

I have seen a lot of cases of such jealousy and it escalate to hatred and can't stand the sight of the other. The worst among all, to me, is cases of only son of single moms. These moms just could not let go. Every single thing that the son's wife or girlfriend does is just hot good enough. When I was young I used to tell my mom that my future husband should be an orphanage. Hahahah. Then I would have no parent's -in-law. Well, that dream didn't come true but I am getting along fine with my parent's-in-law. We aren't buddies but at least we still do share secrets and gossips.

I could see some of my friends with only one son, heading that way. The way they talk about their son, it is like their whole world evolve around the only son and nothing else matter. These friends should start a hobby or get involved with some charity work so that when their son gets a wife, these people still have something else to look forward to other then pick a fight or find fault with their son's other half.

In my opinion, we as parents, have got to learn to let go. Let them learn to love and take care of others and themselves. Every person in this world is different, even twins don't think alike all the time, so don't expect your children to get a spouse like you.

Thank for reading and happy parenting. A Happy Parents' Day to you too.

Basic Survival Skill

There was this millionaire who decided to make a will and in the will he wrote that all his assets will go to charity. He is not going to leave a single cent to his children. Asked why, he replied, "They should be making their own money and not wait for mine. By the time I should pass away, they would have made their first buck and if not, they should learn how to and not wait for my money and should be learning basic survival skill." I heard this over the radio sometime back. A lot of listener did called in to the radio station and commented about this. Some agreed and some not.

I totally agree with him. I had just watched The Oprah Show few hours ago, a rerun, an interview with Donald Trump. He too, made all his children work for their money. This are basic survival skills. During the stone age, children were taught hunting skills since they were very young, just like any other animals, for that was their main survival skills. But since money were invented, to me, learning how to make money is a survival skill.

I find most children in Malaysia now a days were being pampered. Even the middle class and the lower class parents, most of them do not teach their children the importance about money. Children were only taught how to spend and not how to earn or make money. Not many teach their kids how to save money either. They haven't the slightest clue where money to the family comes from and how.

Once, on The Oprah Show, a lady said it is important to let our kids know where and how money comes to the family and how it was spend. Even The Seven Habit for family did mentioned that all the family member must understand who is the bread winner of the family and what are the roles and responsibility of other family members.

I do tell my sons how the family money were spend. I show them all the bills that we have to pay. I also let them know the difference between luxury goods and necessities. So now a days when ever we go shopping or vacation, my sons always asked, can we afford this?

From time to time I let them know the pressure that they might face when they are working next time, and ways to overcome obstacle. That was this someone I knew who works in the Human Resources for many years but yet never teach her own children how to prepare themselves for interviews etc. These are some of the survival skills that we as parents should equip them with.

I find most parents are overprotecting their children, felt vulnerable about teaching their children about the real world, the jungle out there, those years of working life. Very reluctant to tell their children that even the C.E.O of a company have to work very hard too. I always tell my sons those straight A's they get does not really help them much in the future. It is just a key to enter the work force. After that it is lots and lots of hard work to succeed, be it a hawker or a billionaire, all have to work very hard to survive and to maintain their status.

Part of growing up is learning the basic survival skills and it will never be taught in school. So parents out there, tell your children the truth, stop saying that if they study hard and get those A's, they were promise a bright future. I have seen so many graduates that are jobless, and some who couldn't stay long in a job because lack of endurance, can't take pressure and thinking that their degree / pHD should land them a job that is easy and earn a lot.

Thanks for reading and hope my sharing do open some eyes. Have a productive day to you.

How Did I Get There?

Like most folks, I was judgemental too, when I watch "The Biggest Losser". Not proud about it but not ashamed to admit that I too, look at them differently. How did they get so huge? Didn't they notice it coming? What did they eat? How come those around them didn't stop them?

Well, one fine day, I came to realize that I had been on that road to obesity. I didn't see it coming either. After looking back, I realize how I actually got on that road without realizing.

It started when I got married. After my first child, I manage to get back to my old size. Once I got my second child, things began to change. I got promoted a few times within that few years, which means more responsibility and more time spend in the office.

In between all those chaos at work, my sons started school and needed my help and attention on homework and stuffs. I also had babysitter problem. Had changed three different babysitters within that ten years. Everyday I come home late, tired and agitated most of the time. Had office work to attend to, two demanding sons to look after and not to mentioned housework too. Hubby do chip in on housework etc but he too, were tired from work like me.

Since I do not have time to cook, we always eat out almost seven days a week, three meals a day. No time for exercise either as our weekends were spend cleaning the house, car etc. So I grew and grew and grew and didn't realize it. No one around me mentioned it either, many feared of hurting my feelings.

I used to wear size "M" but had increase to size "XL" and soon enough start looking for "XXL" clothing. Never realized that I should be spending my time exercising instead of shopping for clothes that can cover my extras. Slowly I ran out of shops that can provide me the right clothes.

When ever I look in the mirror, I always look at my face only. Had never look at the mirror when I was naked. Then one fine day, during a vacation, the hotel bathroom had a huge mirror. In fact, the whole left wall were mirror. As I was taking my shower, for the very first time I looked at myself naked in front of a mirror. I looked like one of those "Biggest Loser", with layers of meat / fats on my tummy and waist. It suddenly struck me that I was actually one of them.

How did those layers get there? Is this really me? So all this while I was in denial? Suddenly I realize that it had been quite a long while since I last wore sleeveless. Those days I could shoped for clothes at just about any shop. Now I only had that handful to buy from.

All along I thought I was strong enough to climb the corporate ladder and at the same time start a family. Now I truly understood the saying "You win some you will loose some". Not easy to have everything going perfectly well at the same time, provided you have good helpers.

So about six years back I quit my job and became a housewife. I had lost weight. Able to fit in size "M" again. Children are happy because I am less agitated and always around when they needed help. Hubby do not have to rush home from work like those days. Most important, we all had home cook meals and more time to exercise.

What I learned from the whole experienced is that I was on the road to obesity and not knowing it but lucky for me I manage to snap out of it and made a u-turn back on the road to a healthy living. Glad I realize it before my health deteriorate. Thanks for reading and hope this tale acts as an eye opening tale that could get someone out there realize the danger they are in and snap out of it soon.

I wonder what if .......

When I was young, I was daddy's little girl. Every night when he comes home from work, I would be the first to greed him. When ever he sat down to read the paper or watch t.v, I would climbed up his lap and sat with him. When I laid on his hairy chest, those hairs would tickled me and I would insisted he wears a shirt. I love asking lots of questions and quite a chatter box but never once would he asked me to shut up or go away.

As for mum, I would have to choose the right moment to speak to her or she would ask me to get lost or be out of her way. Most of the hugs and kisses comes from daddy. I am not sure if I was really that adorable or daddy just wants to make me happy because he always laugh at what ever I do. Always shows how proud he was to have me as his little girl.

When I was two plus, mum gave me a sister. Right from that year, dad started to come home late. Mum would nagged and both would argued and when things get heated up, they would throw stuffs. They broke most of my toys. I started to be afraid of daddy. Getting less and less family outings, hugs and kisses. I started to talk less too.

Both parents get agitated easily, what was left was grandma's love. One fine day they decided to go separate ways. I could still remember that fine afternoon, daddy came home and start packing. Mum was at work. Grandma (mum's side) kept nagging beside him but not a word from him. As he was packing he stole a few looks at me. I was playing with my doll at a corner. Not a word from me too.

He took his bags and went to the door. I ran to the window to watch. As he reached his car which was parked by the road side, he turned and stared right into my eyes. He didn't cry neither did I. That moment felt like hours but it was just for a minute and he left.

About a week later, mum took me and my sister to McDonald. There, sitting at one of the table was daddy. They had a long discussion. Mum was crying. Everyone around kept looking at us. I didn't know why but my sister and I kept still, not a word from either of us and neither did we cry. We were so young then, about 6 and 4 years old and yet we kinda understood what was going on.

All these kept playing in my head like a broken record or should I say I-Pod stuck on replay. Have to keep up with latest choice of words. Hahah. I shouldn't have end this sad tale with a laugh. Can't help it.

Anyway, I was wondering, what if daddy didn't leave. Would I end up being a spoiled princess? Or was it better this way as I grew up to be a tough independent lady? No matter what, he still was my daddy and the best daddy in the world. I do not blame anyone as it is no one's fault. Things happen for a reason. When something like this happened, it changes one's life forever.

Thanks for reading. I know I should be writing this on Father's day instead of Mother's day, but it just cross my mind and had to get it out from my system. Happy Belated Mother's Day to you all out there. Hope you had a great day on Mother's Day.

All went upside down when I arrived

If you had read my earlier post about me as a toddler, that was the brighter side of my toddler years. Mum said I turned her life upside down the minute I was born. She got married to dad when she was only 19 and dad 22. Got me when she was only 20. I ended her honey moon years the minute I step into this world.

Both my parents were working, so right after I was born, they decided that I should stay with grandma (dad's mum) in another town. Mum doesn't see eye to eye with this grandma and not for long before both my parents had an argument with grandma over her way of taking care of me.

Mum then got a maid. A teenage Chinese girl from out of town, to take care of me. One fine day, mum found out that she dropped my from the swinging crib and I had a swell on my forehead. Yeap, you guess it right, mum fired her and send her back home.

She had no choice but to call and beg my other grandma (mum's mum) to come stay with us and to take care of me. I was told that mum cried a lot when I was young. She cried when I fell, she cried when I constipated, she cried when I was sick and worst of all I had my first asthma attack before I turn one. Watching me gasping for air at that age is indeed frightening, not only to her, to grandma too. My dad had asthma when he was young, so could be heredity. Whereas mum and grandma had never knew what asthma really was until my first attack.

I could still remember that few occasion when both my parents were at work and we ran out of asthma pills, those days we were not introduced to inhaler, grandma would carry me and run to the nearest clinic and I was quite tall for a three year old and chubby too. I must be quite heavy for her because grandma was quite short and plump and when she reach the clinic she was out of breath and could not really talk.

Grandma always said that when she look at the adorable side of me when I was at my best health, her heart melts and all the pain and frantic moments of bringing me up was forgotten. She loves showing me off at the market or groceries shop for I never fail to attract attention and make heads turn.

Tales like these are worth sharing and writing it down to remind me that it wasn't easy bringing me up and my parents and grandma had sacrifices a lot just for me. Especially grandma for she spend the most time with me and my sister. I truly understand those parents out there with mentally and physically challenge children. It must be tough bringing up their children. My heart go out to those parents. It is all worth the sacrifies.

Thanks for reading and Happy Valentines Day to all.

My Toddler Years

I was told that I was the most adorable baby in town. Yeah! I know! Doesn't all parents said that, keh keh keh. I have big round eyes that sparkles with long curled eye lashes top with double eye lid where most Chinese would long to have. Got it from mum's side of the family. Grandma had big round eyes and double eye lid even though she came from China. So does mum and me. Most Chinese would go for plastic surgery just to get that double eye lid.

Anyway, as I grow, my eyes don't look so big anymore and those eyelashes looks ordinary now as my face grew bigger. Last year, however, my neighbor's teenage girl who was sitting by my side, noticed my eye lashes and said how she wish to have long eye lashes like mine. Ooops, had not hear stuffs like these for years. What a compliment!

Where ever I go, I make head turns. Folks in my neighborhood nicknamed me "the big eye girl". My parents took thousands of photos of me during those few years. It could be because I was the eldest, like an only child then. Mum and grandma was always proud to show me off. I attracted a lot of attention where ever I go.

I was quite naughty too, as a toddler. I was told that by the time I was about 8 months old, I started to hold the milk bottle and drink on my own, independently. After every meal, I would push the glass bottle out of my cot through the wooden bar and break quite a few. Those days we don't used plastic bottles. To the extend, my parents have to place a mat below my cot.

I was quite a cry baby too. A bit spoiled, I think, at that time, with all those attention. When I cry, some of the tears would hang in there on my long curled eye lashes like tiny pearls, and when I blink, tears will drop on my cheek. Grandma always finds this amusing. When ever I cry, she would said, "Look! Look at her lashes!"

Mum treats me like a barbie doll. I had uncountable dresses of all sorts, hair pin, ribbons, you named it, I have it. She would dress me up with her fancy wigs of all sorts, and her earrings and jewelry etc and had me post for her photos. Every time when I look at those photos, grandma and mum would tell all those stories about me as toddler.

I am grateful that I had a, so called, glamorous life as a toddler. Even though I didn't end up being a model or joined any beauty pageant, at least I did attracted a lot of attention as a toddler. Just like a Chinese old saying, "it is better to had it, once before, then never to experienced it at all". Hope I translate it correctly.

Thanks for reading. Hope you find this interesting. So how was your life as a toddler? Was it as exciting as mine?