May 8, 2011

I wonder what if .......

When I was young, I was daddy's little girl. Every night when he comes home from work, I would be the first to greed him. When ever he sat down to read the paper or watch t.v, I would climbed up his lap and sat with him. When I laid on his hairy chest, those hairs would tickled me and I would insisted he wears a shirt. I love asking lots of questions and quite a chatter box but never once would he asked me to shut up or go away.

As for mum, I would have to choose the right moment to speak to her or she would ask me to get lost or be out of her way. Most of the hugs and kisses comes from daddy. I am not sure if I was really that adorable or daddy just wants to make me happy because he always laugh at what ever I do. Always shows how proud he was to have me as his little girl.

When I was two plus, mum gave me a sister. Right from that year, dad started to come home late. Mum would nagged and both would argued and when things get heated up, they would throw stuffs. They broke most of my toys. I started to be afraid of daddy. Getting less and less family outings, hugs and kisses. I started to talk less too.

Both parents get agitated easily, what was left was grandma's love. One fine day they decided to go separate ways. I could still remember that fine afternoon, daddy came home and start packing. Mum was at work. Grandma (mum's side) kept nagging beside him but not a word from him. As he was packing he stole a few looks at me. I was playing with my doll at a corner. Not a word from me too.

He took his bags and went to the door. I ran to the window to watch. As he reached his car which was parked by the road side, he turned and stared right into my eyes. He didn't cry neither did I. That moment felt like hours but it was just for a minute and he left.

About a week later, mum took me and my sister to McDonald. There, sitting at one of the table was daddy. They had a long discussion. Mum was crying. Everyone around kept looking at us. I didn't know why but my sister and I kept still, not a word from either of us and neither did we cry. We were so young then, about 6 and 4 years old and yet we kinda understood what was going on.

All these kept playing in my head like a broken record or should I say I-Pod stuck on replay. Have to keep up with latest choice of words. Hahah. I shouldn't have end this sad tale with a laugh. Can't help it.

Anyway, I was wondering, what if daddy didn't leave. Would I end up being a spoiled princess? Or was it better this way as I grew up to be a tough independent lady? No matter what, he still was my daddy and the best daddy in the world. I do not blame anyone as it is no one's fault. Things happen for a reason. When something like this happened, it changes one's life forever.

Thanks for reading. I know I should be writing this on Father's day instead of Mother's day, but it just cross my mind and had to get it out from my system. Happy Belated Mother's Day to you all out there. Hope you had a great day on Mother's Day.


aynzan said...

Glad you got the best out of both the parents...Things happen for a reason..

Terrans said...

It looks from your beautiful article, you are over it and very comfortable with yourself.

Your life could turn to be hell if he stayed and kept arguing with your mom.


Aries said...

Hi, thanks for your comments

convert girl said...

Hi Aries... now that we have our own family, we can understand more about Daddy and Mommy relationship. Glad to know that you think it's no one's fault.... Something very rare when everybody usually tries to push blames to the other side..

Take care...

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