Like most mums, I could not stand his cries anymore and asked him to stopped it immediately. He continue to sob for a minute or so then he said, in between sobs " But I sob sob don't sob sob sob know how sob sob."
I wanted to laugh at the way he said it but don't think it is appropriate to do so at that moment, so I smile (laughing out loud in my heart), pick him up and distracted him with something else and after a few seconds, he stopped.
That night, as I was laying in bed, I had a flash back to the time when I was in my early twenties. The phone rang, I pick up and on the other line was the nurse from the nursing home. She called to informed us that my grandma, who had been suffering from cervix cancer, had passed away in her sleep.
The moment I heard that, I had a sense of relief. Glad that her sufferings from pains etc were over. The minute I put down the phone, I felt guilt. Guilty for feeling relief. Guilty of not being able to cry, not sure why.
After I told mum and sis about the news, I pick up the phone and called my boyfriend (hubby now) about the funeral. The moment he picks up the phone and said "Hello" I started to cry non stop. He got worried and kept asking what was wrong. Like my son, in between sobs, I told him about grandma. It was the very first time that I had to talk and cry at the same time. Even after I put down the phone, I still could not stop crying.
After what my son told me about not knowing how to stop crying, well, I don't think I could, either at that moment of grief, what more a three year old boy. So from that day onwards, when ever any of my sons cry, I do not ask them to stop. Just distract them from what they were crying about and they will stop.
Thanks for reading. Just wish to share this with all parents out there. Don't ask your child to stop crying and don't ever tell your sons that boys aren't suppose to cry. Crying is good for children and adults. I am still learning to be a mum and will never stop learning, so let's learn from each other about parenting.