Football Referee (funny)

During a football game, a woman kept shouting treats at the referee. No matter what happened on the field, she continuously yelled, "Kill the referee!"

This went on for an hour. Finally, another fan called out, "Hey lady! What's wrong with you! The referee hasn't done anything wrong!"

"Hey," she yelled back, "How would you know?" He's my husband, not yours!"

Learning English

Our new maid, a Chinese national, unable to speak any English and afraid of getting lost in a new environment, copied the words from the sign on the gate in front of our house, figuring that if she could show it to anyone, and they could tell her how to get home. She was lost for almost a day. The sign she copied read: "Beware Of Dog."

Final Notice

I am a very systematic and organised person. I make sure all my bills are paid promptly at the end of each month, so I was somewhat taken by surprise when I received a letter from an electrician that stated in bold letters, "Second and Final Notice!"

"I'm sorry," I said when I called him. "I never saw the first notice."

"I didn't send one," he told me. "I find second notices are much more effective."

Just for laughs! Enjoy!