August 14, 2011

More Jokes To Share

Denominations

A caucasian woman went to the Malaysia Post Office with a stack of post-cards to send friends and relatives back home. "What denominations?" asked the postal clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, some are Baptist, a few Catholics and the rest atheists!"


Morning Call

One night at a 3-Star hotel, I ordered a 6 AM wake up call. The next morning I woke up before 6 AM but the phone did not ring until 6.30 AM.

"Good morning!" a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake up call."

Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call at 6 AM," I complained. "What if I have a million dollar deal to close this morning and your oversight made me miss out on it?"

"Well sir, " the desk clerk quickly replied. "If you had a million dollar deal to close, you wouldn't be staying in this hotel!"


Hotel Lobby

A salesman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into a wayside hotel in the evening and because he was afraid that the kitchen might close soon, left his bags at the front desk and went immediately to the dining area to order something to eat.

After a satisfied meal, he went to the front desk to reclaim his luggage and take his room keys. But he forgot his room number and told the clerk on duty, "My name is Osmond. Can you please tell me what room I am in?"

"Sure!" replied the clerk. "You are at our lobby!"


Just for laughs! Enjoy and have a good laugh!

5 comments:

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Aries, I love people with a lively sense of humour.
Love your these jokes.
Here's some smiles for you....

1/ A RUSSIAN ADOPTION: Morris and Becky were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired,
"What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."

2/ What trip?
U.S. Air recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.
Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip"?

3/ BUYING A BRA: A man walked into the ladies department of Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife".

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type"?
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types?
The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need"?

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them"?
The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills".

4/ Hospital bill.
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery.
The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?"
"I'm afraid I can't, Sister."
"Do you have any close relatives, then?"
"Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun."

"Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God."
"Okay," the man said with a smile, "then bill my brother-in-law."

Aries, you have a nice day, and keep a song in your heart.
Best regards.
Lee.

Cee said...

LOL! They're all funny! Thanks for the laughs! :D

I'm a full-time mummy said...

Hahaahhh...thanks for the laughs on this Monday afternoon! :)

Gautam said...

LOL!! Also at #1 of Uncle Lee! :)

Aries said...

Hahahah, thanks Uncle Lee, those are really funny. Thanks for sharing and do share more in the future

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