Picking up the card, Mike's wife read, "You are smart, beautiful and attractive and have a pleasing personality. On top of that, you are a great cook."
"Oh my gosh!" Mike moaned as he took the card from his wife. "Even the weight is wrong!"
A woman is looking in the mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's almost perfect, darling!"
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Just for laugh!