November 17, 2009

Intimate Time

I have heard numerous stories about children sleeping in the same room, some even same bed, as their parents till their children are very old. Is it due to lack of space or parents just need to have them by their side all the time? When should we let go? Does this only happen in Malaysia, Asia or all over the world?

I trained my two boys since young. The day I took him home from the hospital, I would place him in a cot in a corner of my room. Wanted him to learn to sleep without an adult by his side. I do not switch on a night light. By 1 year old, I would persuade him to sleep on a bed in his own room. Of course he won't mind because he was upgraded from cot to bed. He don't mind sleeping in the dark either.

By the time my second son reach 1 year old I told him he could sleep with his brother. A room of their own. They love the idea. I allow them to decorate their room their way. I don't mind having big posters of transformer, pokemon etc in their room, give them some privacy, just like how daddy and mummy need some privacy too.

Every night I would tug them in, tell them stories in their room in the dark. Give them hugs and kisses and leave the room. The first few years they would sleep with their door open. Occasionally they do have nights that they say they could not sleep, or felt scared after a horror movie, I would tell them to close their eyes and think of something happy that had happen to them recently. It works all the time. Both my sons are in their teens now. No more tugging and story telling. Hmmm miss those days. Since birth till now they had never run into my room in the middle of the night or sleep in the same bed as us.

I had a ex-colleague who is in her mid twenties, told me that she and her sister sleeps with her mum every night since birth. Her dad sleeps in another room. Told me her dad is always so grumpy and gets agitated at almost every single thing. Hmmm perhaps I should have told her maybe her dad lack sex. She looks so naive I don't have the heart to tell her that. Ha ha ha.

Don't you think married couple should have more intimate time together? I believe if you want a long lasting happy marriage, you should tread your spouse like how you tread him / her when both of you started dating. Sweet and lovely and never think of other stuff except how to make each other happy.

So what's your bedtime story? Something that I think works for me and wanted to share with everyone. Thanks for reading.


"BUTTERY"fly said...

It has been my problem with my two kids....When we were still living in an apartment, we spare a room for my eldest when she's still our only child. But she never sleep in it, it just served as her room for her toys.. We have moved into a bigger house and now have two kids..still no one wants to sleep alone. I guess, it all started when I refused to buy a Crib for each of them since I thought that it would be useless since I both fully breastfed each of them for two years. And so they need to slept with me all the time in our bed. My eldest is now nine yrs. old. We have currently two beds in our room. But of course, soon they'll be needing to sleep alone or else we'll force them.

Regarding the alone time with the husband.. Very true, it's much needed in a relationship. My DH used to wait for the kids to fall asleep for that much awaited *alone time*. haha


Aries said...

You can always persuade them, tell them how cool it is to have their own room. Win Win situation. They will buy that. Especially when you tell them they can decorate any how they like. Sure to work. Give it a try. Good luck.

lwk said...

Great article Aries. Very true. Our boy is currently still rooming with us, as I have yet to find the time to clear up the junk in the other room, lol. But from the very first day until now, we have encouraged him to sleep in his cot which is near to our bed. Even though the missus breastfeeds him, we still went to great lengths to ensure he sleeps in his own cot. Our bed is just for playtime or feeding, and once that is done, we tuck him in, kiss and hugs and shush him to sleep in his cot.

Couldn't help but have a good laugh about the cranky dad. From a guy's p.o.v, you're spot on about his edgy behaviour due to lack of sex. Furthermore, the poor dude has to sleep in a different room, oh, the torture! I would recommend that he gives himself more 'self-love' from time to time, LOL. But joking aside, both the husband and wife have to talk about it and work out a mutually benefiting solution for themselves.

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