My first pregnancy

A few months after I got married, I found out I was pregnant. So happy that I told the whole world about it. Mum says she only consulted the gynaecology after her third month of pregnancy. So I thought I do the same.

On the third month, I went for my first check-up. The doctor told me that she can't find a heart beat. She says maybe it was still too early and ask me to come back a week later. I did and there was still no heart beat. I went to consult another few doctors, same result. It seems that there is nothing they could do. The fourth doctor told me that this is quite common these days. I could either wait for the womb to reject it or they can get it out for me.

I, hopping for a miracle , told him I will wait. The very next morning I woke up and found stains. So, it is time, I guess this is the end of this pregnancy. Hubby admit me to the hospital. The doctor explain to us what they were going to do. I listen but not really paying attention. I didn't cry at that time but felt like my whole world had just crushed into pieces.

I was asked to change into the hospital clothes, that thin piece of cloth. I remember the nurse took me to the operation room. I was asked to sit outside of that room and wait. It was extremely cold in there. I could hear my teeth clutter, not sure because of fear or was it too cold for me. A while later another nurse took me into that huge bright scary room (for me it was). Nurses and doctors all around and I was asked to lay down on that bed, that steel cold bed that reminds me of those shows from CSI. A guy was holding my hand, rub it and injected me and start asking my name and a bunch of stuffs that before I could answer all I was knock out.

Later I could hear a nurse calling my name and gave me a push on my shoulder telling me that it is all over now. I could hear her and could feel that they are transferring me to another bed and wheeling me to a room. I could also hear her telling hubby that everything was fine and to let me sleep for a while but I just can't open my eyes nor speak. The whole process took only few hours.

From the time I found out there was no heart beat till the whole procedure of ending the pregnancy, I didn't cry. Only starts crying after I reach home. Every single stuffs that reminds me of baby will bring a tear to me. I remembered hubby had to hide every single stuffs that we bought in preparation for the baby.

I thought I would share this experience with everyone, maybe you could learn a thing or two. Anyway, just like what one of my colleague told me, remember the message on the ATM machine when you accidentally keyed in the wrong pin? Your ATM card will be rejected and the message on the screen is "Please insert and try again". I had a good laugh and did try again and I have two lovely sons now in their teens.

Thanks for reading and if you ever encounter a miscarriage (hope not, touch wood), no worry, just try again.