March 5, 2011

Poison A Child's Mind

In my opinion, it is extremely easy to poison a child's mind. I had witness a mum who influenced her daughter to hate her own mum. She would show a proud smiley face when her teenage daughter talk rudely, talk back loudly and argue with her own mum. She forgot that one day she too, might be a granny to this daughter's children and the same could happen to her too. History could repeat itself as she had brought her up that way.

Then there was this granny who manage to make her grandchildren hate their parents by telling them bad stuffs about their parents. Of course, she only told her side of the story. Once the grand children started hating their own parents, no matter what others said, they would still believe grandma more.

Once on Oprah show, it shows a lady who was abused by her husband. He would beat her up and called her all sorts of terrible names in front of their kids. The sad part was their teenage son, believes that the dad was right and his mum deserve to be punished that way. Brought tears to me while watching that episode. How could an educated teenager unable to differentiate what is right and what is not?

My mum and dad went separate ways when I was only six. My grandma (mum's mum) always reminds me and my sister that no matter what happen, they are still our parents. We should still love and respect them as mum and dad no matter what.

I do not really see eye to eye with my own mum. She was raise as an only child and had a bit of that stingy, selfish, only love herself attitude all a long. So growing up with mum does not make me feel like I had a mum but she is a great provider. She make sure we had every necessity that a child should have. Other than that she does not know how to show her love and affection to me and my sister. We felt the coldness when ever she is around.

Having said that, I never disrespect her as I always felt that even though she does not know how to be a good mum that doesn't mean I should retaliate and be a bad daughter. My sister and I still take good care of her and make sure what ever she wants, if we could fulfill, we would. Even my sons and my sister's children all still respect her as a mum and a granny.

Once a girl, a graduate, told me that she and her mum always behave rudely to her mum's mother. Ask why and she said that when her mum was young, grandma always bully her mum by making her do all the house work while other brothers and sisters go out to play. Hmmm does that sounds like an abuse? On the other hand the grandma told me that this particular daughter had asthma and would always want to keep her at home. Further more, when this daughter was in her early twenties, she was involved with a married man and the man's wife called her up, begging her to send her daughter some where else so that she would stop seeing her husband. That was her second reason for keeping her busy at home, hopping that she had less time to go meet that married man. I am very sure the young graduate does not know of the second part of the story.

So if you see my point, parents or guardian are extremely powerful in influencing a young child's mind. Why teach them to hate someone when sooner or later the truth might surface and in return they might hate you more. Why not just teach them to love others unconditionally and make this world a better place to live in. I always tell my son this : when someone slapped you that is a bad person, report that person to an authority, but when you slapped back, it makes you equally bad. Does retaliation solve problems? No! It just make it worst.

Thanks for reading and hope we could all make this world a better place and a happier one too.


Losty said...

You won't understand an adult until you are one I guess.

I'm a full-time mummy said...

So so true! And I do agree both sides of the story must be heard first before jumping into any conclusion that this/that person is bad... even so, I don't think it's up to us to even judge (you know the saying, judge and you will be judged too!)

Btw, thank you for the birthday wish for Ben and glad you like his picture. 3rd year is better? Wooo... can't wait!

Cee said...

Definitely you are right. I could never tolerate my daughters to hate anyone...not even the ones who deserve to be hated. Hate feelings is even worse for the one who feels it. I would never want to raise a child with grudges to anybody..never. It equals to an unhappy childhood.

baili said...

i agree that our parents deserve respect even whatever the story is ,

i also saw such parents , that one of them try to makes the other one's position weak in front of the children.

Aries said...

Hi, thanks for visiting, will visit back soon

Midnite Skys said...

oh yea I never talked bad about my daughters dad in front of her, after we divorced because we were no longer married doesn't mean she no longer has a dad... he is a good dad... not a good husband...

Garden Forum said...

Poisoning or teaching kids in their early stage will make a huge impact on their personality especially if you teach them bad things, kids can easily learn and if they learned the wrong one they'll remembered it for the rest of their lives. So we must be cautious on what were trying to say and teach to them.

Aries said...

Couldn't agree more Midnite Skys and Garden Forum

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